


The Science Fiction Connection

by TMar



Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-21
Updated: 2018-10-21
Packaged: 2019-08-05 06:45:12
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,064
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16362878
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TMar/pseuds/TMar
Summary: Rodney starts to see connections with every sci-fi work he's ever seen or read. He starts to lose it.





	The Science Fiction Connection

**Author's Note:**

> I don't know where this story came from; one day McKay just started talking in my head and wouldn't shut up until I had written this down. It was written during, and is set in, the first season. The "movie about square rooms" that McKay and Sheppard discuss is, of course, "Cube", which starred David Hewlett. (Great movie, BTW.)

Sometimes Rodney McKay wished Samantha Carter were here. Not that he'd ever admit that to anyone, but sometimes he wished there was someone else around he could bounce ideas off of, someone who would know where he was going with an idea instead of misunderstanding and dismissing him, as most of the other scientists on Atlantis seemed wont to do.

Since coming to Atlantis, Rodney had gained a lot more respect for Major - make that *Colonel* Samantha Carter. He'd never realised before just how hard her job must have been. How hard it probably still was. She had to think on her feet most of the time, unlike him, who had been ensconced in a nice comfy office in Area 51 with enough time to go at a problem from several directions. With enough time to go at a problem from *every* direction until he got it right.

Funny, he now realised just why Samantha had seemed to get everything right the first time - she'd had no choice. In the Pegasus galaxy, if you didn't get it right the first time you probably *died*. You had to take all those angles, all those ideas, and think through them in a few hours, sometimes only in a few minutes. And if you didn't come up with the right answer, there could be consequences. For Sam Carter, that could have meant the Earth being destroyed, or someone being taken by a Goa'uld. For him, getting something wrong could mean having your life force sucked out of you by a Wraith.

Rodney had loved science fiction as a child. Never mind that warp engines, as described in Star Trek, could never work. Never mind that it wasn't possible to un-age people like in The Outer Limits. Never mind that intelligent machines would really be intelligent instead of having red lights and a tendency to say, "By your command." Never mind that the aliens in "V" who'd thought of Earth as a cattle ranch had had some kind of warp technology but were too stupid to make water from hydrogen and oxygen. Hyperdrive was real. Aging caused by nanites could be reversed. Robots sometimes looked just like you. And there were aliens out there who really did want to eat you. Who knew.

Sometimes Rodney wished he really had become a pianist.

***

"Hey, McKay, watchya doing?"

Rodney looked up from his laptop. They had brought several, and this one was his, although he'd made sure it didn't count as his "personal item". The fact that it contained avi files of every one of his favourite TV episodes and episode guides for all the rest was irrelevant. He needed it for his work.

He paused and minimized "The Sandkings" and looked up. "Nothing, just doing some reading."

John Sheppard flopped down beside him on the seat. This was some kind of communal area, and people found it easier to congregate here since their quarters were all kind of small. They had to keep reminding themselves that Atlantis was a military outpost.

Sometimes Rodney wanted to *kill* John Sheppard. He admired the man for his guts, but when the admiration threatened to become hero-worship (for, let's face it, Sheppard was one brave guy), he reminded himself that the man was only here because of his genes. Or one, anyway.

Rodney started to laugh.

"What is it?" asked John.

Rodney sat up. "Why are you here?"

John got that look on his face that said it was too early for philosophy. "Huh?"

"Well, why are you?"

"'Why are we here? What's life all about?'" John began to sing, but he was cut off.

"No, no, not the Meaning of Life stuff. Here, in the Pegasus Galaxy, so far away from home that we can't even see our *star* in the sky."

Sheppard shrugged. "I had the gene, they wanted me, I came."

"And that's it?"

"Pretty much, yeah. Why are you here?"

"I wanted to make the Ancient technology work. Carter refused on the grounds of her duties with SG-1..."

"Okay, SG teams are the ones like Ford was on, that explore through the Stargate."

"Yeah, she's on the flagship team. They have diplomatic teams, rescue teams, archaeological teams..."

"I was debriefed back home," Sheppard interrupted. "And that's what we have, right? An SG team, technically?"

"Right. Anyway, I guess I thought, this is something I can really do, something where she'll have to play catch-up instead of the other way round."

"Carter was the blonde chick, right?"

"Yeah, she was the blonde chick," said Rodney, starting to get just a little annoyed. "I know everything about the Stargate that she knows, but they always listened to her."

"She'd had more experience," John pointed out.

"I hated that."

"That she could be right."

"Yeah, kind of." Rodney pulled a ration bar out of the pack by his feet and tore into it, speaking even as he chewed. It was really disgusting to watch. "So I'm sitting here thinking that I left my cat and my *life* behind because I didn't want to be beaten by a girl! That any day now I could be getting my life sucked out of me by an intergalactic vampire like in LifeForce or Buck Rogers or something, and it's because I wanted to be better than a *girl*. And it's just so... fucking stupid."

"You said the F word," Sheppard laughed.

"Never watched much science fiction, did you? Because the Wraith don't turn us into Wraiths like themselves, so that analogy is totally wrong..." Suddenly a hand was covering his mouth. Rodney looked into John's eyes. He could see understanding there.

John took his hand away. "I flipped a coin," he said.

"What?"

"Heads I go, tails I stay. It was heads, so here I am. I could be getting my life force sucked out, too, you know."

Rodney ran a hand over his face. He felt... kind of hysterical. Again. "I feel like those people stuck in that square room thingy in that movie. No matter where we go, what we do, we can't get out. I don't want to have my life sucked out, I want to lie on my couch with my cat and watch that blonde Immortal chick steal stuff! I want to eat roast chicken and drink beer and read A Brief History of Time again!"

John got up. "Come on."

Rodney closed out the file, turned off his laptop and got up as well. "Where are we going?"

"My place. You're starting to attract attention."

He was. People seemed genuinely interested in his rantings. Sighing, McKay followed Sheppard to his quarters.

***

He didn't know what he expected when he got there, but what he didn't expect as soon as the door closed was that John would shove him up against it and kiss the fuck out of him.

Rodney pushed against him until John let go. "What the *hell* are you doing?" he yelled.

Sheppard didn't look remotely sorry. "I had these same thoughts a while ago. They go *nowhere*, okay? We're here, and there's pretty much nothing we can do about it. The Wraith are out there, and there's nothing we can do about that, either. Do I wish I could go back and make the coin come up tails? Sure. Do I wish I hadn't stabbed Pink Wraith Barbie and woken up the rest? Duh. But I did. It happened. And we're gonna deal with it, and kick their asses eventually."

Rodney sagged against the door a little. "Kick their asses, huh?"

"Oh, yeah."

"And you kissed me, why?"

"To distract you. You were heading for a major panic attack, I could hear it. You need to get your mind off of everything, McKay. Off of this weird science fiction parallel thing you've got going. This isn't Buck Rogers or some movie about square rooms."

"Everyone died in that movie," Rodney said.

"Nuh-uh, one guy lived."

"You saw that?"

"Hey, I watched The Chronicles of Riddick, too. I'm a multi-faceted guy." John took a breath. "Look, McKay. It's normal to feel this way. But if you keep on you're gonna drive yourself nuts. Just... find a way to get your mind off it. And please stop with the sci-fi."

"Kiss me again."

"What?"

"You want to distract me, kiss me again."

"It might not stop with kissing."

"I'm okay with that."

John looked skeptical. "I've done... some things with guys. I was assigned to the Antarctic, after all. But I don't think you have."

Rodney made a very unattractive face. "Do you really think that matters *here*? When we could be getting our life force sucked out at any minute?" He suddenly started laughing, and it once again had a hysterical note to it. "Oooh, getting my life force sucked out sounds kind dirty."

"I'll feed you oranges, I swear."

He stood up and tried not to sound hysterical. "I'll be good."

"I'll kiss you if you're good."

Rodney boldly walked over to the bed and sat down. "Come and get it over with, then, flyboy."

Sheppard just looked at him. "'Flyboy'? Is that your idea of seduction?"

Rodney looked upset. "Guess not."

Sheppard sat down and kissed him anyway.

***

In the part of his mind that overanalysed things, Rodney McKay had thought that maybe kissing a guy would make him feel... ill, or something. But all it was doing was turning him on. Now John had progressed to his neck, and all he could do was hang on and squeeze his eyes closed as... yep, that was an erection down there. And it was his. He liked this. He wanted more, wanted this not to stop, wanted...

Rodney lay back, John still stuck to his neck like a limpet. Now John was covering him, and despite their clothes, he could feel that John was hard as well. They were both hard, and that implied that they wanted to... you know, have sex. With each other.

He began to pull at Sheppard's clothes. Sheppard immediately stopped kissing him and pulled off his jacket, T-shirt, pants, underwear, shoes and socks. He then turned to McKay. "Well?"

"Oh. Right." Rodney divested himself of his clothes, too, then looked up at John, who was still standing there. "This is crazy."

"Yeah, it's crazy." John lay down on the bed next to him and pulled Rodney against him. "It's fucking insane. But if you'd told me a few months back that I'd be in another *galaxy* avoiding having my life force drained, I'd have asked you what drugs you'd been doing." He reached down and took both erections in his hand. "I think we can take 'insane' as a given at this point."

And then he kissed Rodney and masturbated the both of them, and Rodney had nothing more to say as he gave in to the sensations flooding through him.

***

When he awoke, McKay knew that somebody was watching him. It wasn't exactly a pleasant sensation. What if the Wraith... and then he remembered. He turned his head, to look into the amused eyes of one Major John Sheppard.

"Afternoon, Rodney."

"Afternoon?"

"Yeah. We slept about three hours. Trust me, you needed it."

"I..."

"You feel better now, right?"

"Uh, yeah."

"So, mission accomplished. I need my scientist in top form."

"So this was what, a pity fuck?"

John snorted. "Yeah, *right*. No, it was a buddy-fuck. You know the difference, I assume?"

Rodney blinked. "A buddy-fuck? You think of me as a... a friend?"

"Well, I'm starting to. You kind of grow on a person."

It was Rodney's turn to snort. "Yeah, like a fungus."

"Just like a fungus." There was that amused look again. "Look, Rodney, you were losing it. I could practically see the brain matter coming out of your ears. It happens. When that used to happen to me back on Earth, I used to get laid. Simple."

"Back on Earth?"

"Yeah, you know, like when you're sent somewhere dangerous and you start wondering what the hell made you want to be a pilot in the Air Force."

Rodney sighed. "They sent me to Russia, you know." He paused. "And I never... well, not this bad."

"Yeah, but the Russians couldn't suck your life out with their hands."

"Well... you should have seen some of those women..."

John laughed. "You feel better, I feel better. Mission accomplished. That's it."

"That's it?"

"Sure." And the amusement was back. It put McKay on edge, because he wasn't sure if this was the last time this would happen or not.

***

As it turned out, it wasn't. They never messed around on missions, or even back at the base during times of stress. But during quiet periods (and there weren't many of those), one would seek out the other and they would engage in some stress relief.

Rodney wondered if it could be called sex. It certainly wasn't sex as defined by Bill Clinton, anyway. Hand jobs, mutual masturbation, sure, but sex... no. Neither of them had suggested doing anything more during the half-dozen times they had done this. It just... felt good. Good to have someone who understood.

And then the shit hit the fan.

***

Rodney truly wished Sam Carter was with him when a small Wraith party got hold of him during routine reconnaissance of a planet. They weren't interested in intelligence on Atlantis or on where the "new feeding grounds" were... it seemed like these had just woken up and wanted... well, breakfast.

Rodney McKay was almost breakfast.

He was still trying to assimilate the whole experience - that weird, cold sensation as it touched him, and then... a lot of bullets separated the Wraith from its hand, and the hand was pried away, and he looked up to find a very pissed-off Major Sheppard staring at him, breathing hard.

Weir had listened to their explanation of what had gone down, and Teyla seemed to agree that they'd met up on the planet by coincidence. The fact that McKay was still alive and not somebody's snack was due to good shooting and quick reflexes. And Sheppard just put on his "just doing my job, ma'am" face as Elizabeth Weir asked if Doctor Beckett had found anything new from the Wraith body parts they'd been able to bring him. They were still deep in discussion of Wraith physiology when Rodney excused himself to go to his quarters.

Where he threw up.

***

He was standing in the shower. He still wasn't used to the Ancients' version of a shower - the spray came from the side instead of a shower head. There were three neat rows of nozzles starting at about knee-height and ending just at chin level. The water was desalinated sea water from the planet, but it wasn't purified quite as much as the drinking water, so it still tingled a bit and left a weird feeling on the skin, like one had been to the beach.

Suddenly there was a bang, and John Sheppard was in the shower with him. "What the FUCK did you think you were doing!?" he yelled.

Rodney turned and faced him. "What?"

"I said stay put! Do you have a hearing problem?"

Rodney wasn't in the mood to put up with this, not now. "For your information, MAJOR, I had to move because the two others were coming right for me. And yeah, I moved into the way of the other one. But I'd have been captured either way, and you know it. Ford was there too, why don't you shout at him?"

"That thing's goddamn hand wasn't on Ford, Rodney! It was on *you*!"

"I noticed!" Rodney yelled. "How could I not notice that?!" He opened his mouth to yell some more, but Sheppard grabbed him, shoved him against the back of the stall, and shoved his tongue down his throat.

McKay pushed him away. "What do you think you're doing?"

"You think I wanna lose you? You think that was easy for me, to shoot that thing while its hand was on you? It could have sucked up your life to heal itself - I didn't know if I'd done enough damage."

"I'm fine," Rodney said, but the major didn't seem to be listening.

"I want you," John stated baldly. He began to take off his sodden clothes. "Rodney, let me do this."

Rodney sighed. "Yeah. Okay." His eyes grew wide as he saw Sheppard grab the soap-free shower gel from the shelf that ran all along one side of the shower. It was wide enough to sit on, and maybe the Ancients had done that. They still hadn't figured out how many of the less important things worked.

Then John kissed him, and turned him to the wall, out of the spray. Rodney braced himself against the wall, wondering why he was just allowing this, and waited.

He felt a finger breach him, and it was... weird. Then kinda sore, then... just uncomfortable. Stretching was more painful, but he didn't move. He was going to allow this, and he didn't know why. He wanted to have someone, *anyone*, truly make love to him. And better now than later. Later he might be some Wraith's snack.

Then John was moving up behind him, fumbling a little, and pushing inside. "Ugh!" Rodney said. It did hurt, but he wanted it. And John's hands came around him, and held him, and he let his head fall back as the rocking began, and the pain got less. His own cock didn't seem interested in the proceedings, but that didn't matter. They were alive, and John wanted this, and he wanted it, and somehow coming was irrelevant.

It seemed to take a long time, or maybe Sheppard was just wound up, but when he finally grunted as though in pain, and thrust in hard, pinning Rodney to the wall, Rodney felt somehow as though he'd come too, just as Sheppard had, inside him.

John finally stepped away, allowing the water to sluice off any... embarrassing bodily fluids. Rodney did the same, then followed him into the drying room, where the warm air took less than a minute to dry the both of them. They staggered into the bedroom and collapsed on the bed.

***

This time, waking up with someone watching wasn't new. It had happened three other times that he knew of. But this time, instead of a 'good morning', Rodney got, "You didn't come, did you?"

What? "What?"

"Last night. You let me just fuck you, you stood there and let me, and you didn't even enjoy it."

"Wait a second..." Rodney began, but John cut him off.

"What did you do, Rodney? Close your eyes and think of Canada?"

McKay sat up, ignoring the fact that Sheppard was hogging the sheet and he was naked. "I enjoyed it very much, thank you. No, I didn't come, but I was unaware that it was required." He stalked off to the closet to find a change of clothes.

Sheppard followed him, also naked. "How could you enjoy it if you didn't come?"

"On the off-chance that I'm acting like a girl, I'll say that knowing you were there and glad I was alive was enough. Knowing you wanted to fuck me was pretty damn satisfying on its own!"

"I just..." Sheppard couldn't seem to finish the thought.

"I know, okay?" Rodney gave him an out. "I did some psych, clearly not enough, but enough to know that sex is a normal response in the face of death."

John looked suddenly abashed. "I... didn't use a condom."

"Did I say one was required?"

"I behaved very stupidly, but I couldn't... Well, I *could* help it, but I just let go. I *needed* to fuck you, almost. And I'm sorry if I hurt you."

"I'll live."

The amused smile was back. "You can do it to me if you want."

"That's a great offer, but not now. I'm sure Elizabeth is going to want us to go out again, or figure out where the hell those Wraith came from, or something. We should get up there."

"You're right, I know you're right." John stepped into the bathroom looking for his clothes. "They're still all wet," he said.

"Put them in the dryer for a few minutes."

"I like this Ancient technology," John said. And he was surprised when McKay just grimaced and kissed him.

***

"Why can't you stay out of trouble?" Doctor Carson Beckett asked Rodney as he examined him.

"Yeah, I apparently went *looking* for the Wraith because, you know, life on Atlantis is too boring or something!" McKay answered.

"You should have seen me last night. I would have gone looking for you if Doctor Weir hadn't said you were okay. Still, she's not a doctor. You didn't experience any after-effects, did you?"

"It only had its hand on me for a second, before Major Sheppard terminated it with extreme prejudice."

"'With extreme prejudice'? Well, that's one way of putting it. So, no weird effects or anything?"

"I threw up when I got to my quarters. Stress."

"Or a reaction to the Wraith. Let me have a look."

He examined Rodney's mouth, listened to his breathing and digestive sounds, and then... "I've gotta look, Rodney. Okay? Just for a second."

Not knowing how to refuse without seeming guilty, Rodney had no choice but to allow what Beckett said would be a *brief* rectal exam. But then he heard the words he dreaded. "There's something... let me get a sample..." Before he could say anything, Beckett had taken a sample for analysis.

Rodney pulled his pants back on almost at light speed and looked away. "Can I go now?"

"Just a second... this might be important..."

"I'm sure it's not!"

But Beckett was already putting his sample under the scope. "This looks... well, it looks like semen," he said uncertainly. "How could the Wraith cause that? This can't be right."

"Yeah." Rodney folded his arms. "Except that wasn't the Wraith, okay? Okay?"

Beckett looked at him, uncomprehending for just a moment. "It wasn't the Wraith. What do you mean, Rodney?"

Rodney sighed and got belligerent. "I mean, yeah, it's semen. Because I had sexual relations with another man after I got back, okay? That's what that is."

"Oh." Despite being a doctor, Carson Beckett blushed bright red. "Oh."

"Can I go now?"

"Actually..."

"WHAT!"

"Let me check a bit closer. For rectal tearing. Just in case."

"I don't need..." McKay protested, but Beckett cut him off.

"Just in case. An infection out here would be very bad."

Which was why, an hour later, Rodney was discussing the mission with his team-mates while standing up... because apparently small rectal tears needed lots of antibiotic lotion. And that meant not sitting down for two hours... Not that he *wanted* to sit down, because he really didn't.

This time he wanted to wipe that amused and *smug* look off John Sheppard's face.

***

McKay and Weir were eating some produce they had traded for in the common area a few hours later when Sheppard joined them just as Beckett walked in. "Hey, Doc! Over here!" Sheppard called as he sat down. Carson Beckett looked as though he wanted to refuse, but then he seemed to change his mind and came over.

"Doctor Weir. Major. Rodney."

"Sit down and tell us what Scotland is like," said Sheppard.

"I beg your pardon, Scotland?"

"Yeah, not much else going on."

Carson smiled, sitting down. "True, too true. Well, I haven't seen the Loch Ness Monster if that's what you mean."

"I haven't been there," offered Sheppard.

"Well, I can tell you a joke by Billy Connolly. It goes: People who tour Scotland annoy me because they always say, 'I went to Scotland, but it was raining.' Of course it was fucking raining! Pardon me, Doctor Weir."

But Elizabeth was laughing with them.

Rodney snorted. "I guess I could do that one about Canada. You know, I went to Canada but it was cold. Of course it was fucking cold!"

They discussed the weather in different countries and places they'd been for a while, then McKay excused himself. That food hadn't been very filling. He really needed a snack. Oh yeah, and a nap. But Beckett followed him, waiting until they were out of earshot of any other people. "How're you feeling, Rodney?"

"I'm fine," Rodney said shortly.

"Good, that's good. Just... wait a few days before having anal intercourse again, okay?"

Rodney imitated him. "'Anal intercourse'? Yeah, I'll scratch *that* off my to-do list right away. It's listed right under, 'Remember to get eaten by intergalactic vampires'!"

"You don't have to be sarcastic, Rodney."

"Yeah, sorry."

Beckett turned go to, and collided with Sheppard, who seemed to be hurrying to catch up. "Pardon me, Major."

"Sorry, that was actually me." Sheppard called out just as McKay turned away, "Rodney!"

Rodney stopped. "What now?!"

"Now is as good a time as any," Sheppard said, aware that Beckett was still standing there. "You said anything I could do, you could do better. So, time to prove it."

"Anyth..." It dawned on Rodney what John was saying. "Can it wait? I'm tired."

"Wait?"

"Yeah." And before John could say anything, Rodney had stalked off.

Carson looked at McKay's departing back, then at Sheppard. "I didn't know you two spent time together outside of missions."

"Oh... you know..."

"That he's not such a bad guy? I knew that, but I wasn't sure anybody else did."

Sheppard just smiled at that.

***

Sheppard found McKay in his quarters. "What the hell was that?"

"He knows," said Rodney.

That just got him a blank look.

"He knows about us. Well, not you specifically, but when he examined me, he found out."

John just got annoyed. "There's such a thing as 'don't ask, don't tell', you know."

"Yeah, I should apparently have told him that the Wraith like to sleep with their food!"

"What?"

"He was going to perform a DNA analysis to see if it had any connection to the Wraith. So I just told him. Anyway, I'm not in the military, they can't do anything to me."

"I think we lost our right to follow military procedure slavishly when we threw out the Geneva Convention and experimented on Steve," John said.

"Probably. But now he knows it's you."

"Why, because of what I said out there?"

"Yeah."

"Oh, please, Rodney, that could be anything!" Rodney still did not seem happy. "Look. Even if he does know, it doesn't matter. He can't tell anyone, and I don't care if he knows."

Rodney felt his spirits lift somewhat. "You don't?"

"No. Why would I? We're consenting adults."

Sheppard hardly had those words out when this time it was McKay pinning him to the wall and kissing him. As McKay began to pull at Sheppard's clothes, he said, "You meant it, right? That I could return the favour?"

"Of course I meant it."

"Fine. Turn around."

"Nuh-uh, not this time. Let's actually use the bed this time."

Throwing off their clothes, they fell onto the bed and latched onto each other. Sheppard suddenly developed a dirty mouth, even as Rodney devoured his neck. "You gonna fuck me, Rodney, is that what you want?"

"Geez!" Rodney stopped what he was doing and sat up.

"What is it?"

"That turns me on like you wouldn't believe!" he panted, trying to get himself under control.

John just blinked lazily. "I *was* trying to turn you on, McKay. I think your penis works better when you're turned on." He grinned.

Rodney jumped off the bed and returned with the shower gel. He kissed John perfunctorily. "How does this work?"

"I'll lie sideways, then you can do what I did." He gave Rodney a kiss, then turned on his side, pulling one leg up to expose the necessary orifice.

Rodney looked at the gel he was putting on his fingers, then at John. He couldn't believe he was going to do this, but he wanted it. He carefully inserted a finger, hearing only a sharp intake of breath from Sheppard.

He proceeded with the rest of the preparations, thinking only that he'd had to come to the Pegasus Galaxy to do stuff that was... well, gay.

Really, really gay, he thought, as he sheathed himself in Major John Sheppard's body.

***

For some reason, Sheppard always woke before him, but it didn't bother McKay that much. This time when he opened his eyes, he didn't even wait for a greeting. "You didn't come earlier, when I did you, either."

"Guess it takes practice."

Rodney kissed him. "Lots of practice."

Sheppard smirked. "Yeah." He lay back, looking smug. "But it was hot. If you like I'll rush down to the infirmary and let Beckett swab my ass."

"What?"

"So he can see that you're not the girl in this relationship."

"That's..." Rodney began, sounding almost piqued. But then he sobered. "I had small tears down there. He gave me some cream. Maybe you *should* go. Just to be safe."

"You're probably right," Sheppard said. "But later." He pulled Rodney to him and wrapped his hand around the other man's cock. "After this."

Rodney returned the favour. Who would have thought it would feel so natural to hold another man's cock in his hand, to make him come this way?

And even after they had come, and their semen was all over each other, it didn't feel weird or disgusting. It was sexy. It was good. It was even *fun*. Rodney had seldom done anything for fun in his life.

***

Carson Beckett was not a happy doctor. "I did not need to know this," he said as he fished out the antibiotic ointment for the second time in two days. "Really, that creates a mental image I'm just not comfortable with."

"Doc, you cut up *Wraiths*."

"I didn't know any personally," Beckett pointed out as he passed Sheppard the cream. "You know what to do with this, I assume?"

"Yeah."

"Fine; I'll wait outside."

Sheppard shook his head at the idea of the doctor being squeamish about something like this, but didn't say any more.

When he was finished and Beckett came back in, he did ask, "So, does this change your opinion of us now?"

"What? No! But I could'a done without the mental image. Especially since it's Rodney." And he shivered.

Sheppard understood. He could even empathise. If he hadn't seen the man let down his guard and show just how freaked out he was about being here, he might also have continued to think that Rodney McKay was an unredeemable jerk. "He's a good guy, Doc. As you yourself said."

***

John waited quite a few days before he caught Teyla alone. He wanted to ask what her people thought of... well, homosexuality. She was in the common room, not somewhere she often went, but Ford was regaling her with a story about his time on an Earth-based SG team. "Uh, Lieutenant, could you excuse us for a few minutes?"

Ford was amenable. "Sure, Major. Doctor Weir wanted to see me anyway."

John smiled his thanks and sat down. "So, Teyla," he said.

"Yes...?"

"I wanted to, er, ask you something. About your people."

She just looked at him inquiringly.

"Um... sexually... you know... mating practices..."

"On our world it is very simple. Usually, if a young man's affections seem to be returned, he will ask the woman permission to court her. If both their families agree, they will court for a time and then marry." A shadow crossed her face. "Courting seldom takes more than a few months, because of the culling."

Sheppard tried to imagine what it must be like to live in the shadow of an enemy who wanted to eat you. He had experience with them, and he still couldn't imagine living like that your whole life. But he wanted to know more than that now. "No, uh, what if, say, two guys like each other? Can they court?"

Teyla's face cleared. "Oh! It is not done often, and is actively discouraged, but, yes, it does happen."

"Discouraged?"

"Because of the culling. We don't force people to marry, but we cannot allow our people to die out. For two healthy males or females to cut themselves off is selfish. But it's not prohibited."

"And they can marry?"

"It hasn't happened in my lifetime, but I believe it is allowed, yes."

"And what do you think of it, personally?"

"I do not believe we can choose who we love."

"Yeah." But John Sheppard was frowning. "Yeah, I guess not."

"John, why are you asking me this?"

Sheppard wasn't quite sure if he wanted others to know; after all, Beckett was a doctor and couldn't say anything. But Teyla wasn't bound by medical ethics, military rules or even Earth customs. He respected her a great deal, though, and because they were friends he *wanted* to tell her. "I... Well, Rodney and I..."

She just smiled that knowing smile. "You consider yourselves mates, then?"

"Uh, no, not exactly. On Earth - well, in my country, we could never marry or anything like that. Where I come from being gay is considered to be, er, perverted."

"Being happy is perverted?"

"No, 'gay' also means, er, homosexual. To like someone of the same gender." He sighed. "It's... he's one of the most annoying and arrogant people I've ever met. But he's also a genius, and he can be fun to be around. Sometimes. And, in Canada we *could* get married, and he's Canadian, so..."

"You left out the most important thing, John." Teyla said it patiently.

"Which is?"

"If you love him."

"I..." Sheppard was forced to be honest, simply by listening to Teyla's gentle questions. He'd been sleeping with Rodney for - was it really four months already? - and he wanted to continue sleeping with Rodney. Scary as it may have seemed, he wanted to lie in bed with Rodney and talk about the parallels between cheesy science fiction movies and their current situation. He wanted to fight with him over which hockey team was better. He could see them in a few years, going to Niagara Falls or some landmark in the States, and rejoicing in being home. He knew that if Rodney were to find someone else, that it would hurt him terribly. He just... wanted Rodney. Because... "Yeah, I love him," he said. "Yeah."

"Then I'm happy for you."

"Thanks," said John, leaning over to give her a quick hug.

He extricated himself from the hug just in time to see Rodney McKay's shocked face. Then Rodney hightailed it back to the transporter, and was gone.

"Dammit, Rodney!" John got up. "Teyla, I've gotta go."

"Go."

***

Sheppard stood outside Rodney's quarters. "Dammit, McKay, let me in!"

There was no response from inside.

"Rodney, you know I can open this door if I want to. I'm gonna count to five. One... two..."

On "four", the door opened. McKay stood there looking extremely unhappy, not to mention mad. "What?" The tone was very unfriendly.

"I was just hugging Teyla to thank her for her advice."

Rodney looked as though he didn't believe a word of it.

"You know I'd never do that to you," said John.

McKay ignored him and went inside. Sheppard followed. "I'd never cheat on you," he said.

Rodney sat down. He laughed once, bitterly. "You can't cheat if you're not actually in a relationship," he said.

"You know we are."

"Oh, yeah? Because if I remember correctly, you said it was a 'buddy-fuck thing'."

"It... no." Sheppard flopped down next to his... lover?... partner? "It started out that way, sure. But it's more now."

"Yeah, I'm a fungus. I remember."

"Teyla asked me a question. She asked me if I loved you. As usual, she cut right through all the bullshit. And you know what I said, Rodney?"

McKay just looked at him emotionlessly. "No, what?"

"I said yes, of course! I told her I love you."

To say that Rodney looked shell-shocked would have been an understatement. "What?"

"I love you, you idiot." John looked pretty embarrassed, as though he could hardly believe it himself. "I can see us still together in the future. Back on Earth, even. That has to count for something."

Rodney smiled shyly. "Really? You love me?"

"Uh, yeah, have you been following the conversation?"

McKay looked down, then spoke as if to himself. "I thought it was just me."

"Huh?"

"Look, I know I'm obnoxious, okay? I know I'm insufferable and annoying and obsessive. I know my problem with hypoglycaemia is a joke to people. The only love I ever got back on Earth was from my cat. Women usually hate me. So I make a point to ask them out when I'm in an insufferable phase. That way, when they turn me down, I'm not hurt. You know how many women I had sex with before I came here? Four. Wanna know how many times? A total of eleven. Because I drive women away. Actually, I drive away most people. But I'm good at what I do, and I'm an expert on Stargate technology, so the Air Force puts up with me."

"Hey, I disobeyed orders."

"Yeah, but I bet you got laid more than eleven times."

John tried not to look proud. "Well, yeah."

"Nobody I've ever loved has loved me back."

"Besides your cat."

"Yeah, besides my cat. And you."

"So, is that your way of telling me that you love me, too?" John asked  
coquettishly.

"I guess so." Rodney leaned towards John.

"Wait." John held him away with a hand on his chest. "I want you to say it. Just this once, just while we're confessing things."

And Rodney actually did it: he looked John right in the eye and said, "I love you."

And then they were kissing, and it felt... better. Warmer. It felt like *more*. Rodney pulled away first. "You wanna do it?" he asked. "You know, fuck me?"

"Sure, I can get behind that," said John, snickering at Rodney's expression at his choice of words. "But hey, let's try for the 'both coming during the actual fuck' thing, shall we?"

"Yeah, let's try that." A brief pause. "And this time, Beckett does not swab either of our asses."

"Deal."

This time, because he knew what to expect, Rodney became *interested* in the proceedings much faster than last time. They were lying in his bed with John behind him, and John was moving inside him slowly, so slowly, really just loving him with his body. At first, nothing, but then... There! His cock took notice of that. "Ah!"

"What?" John stopped, but didn't move away.

"You did something right there. Do it again!"

John did, and Rodney captured his hand, bringing it forward so that John could feel his arousal. "Ha!"

"Gonna come this time, Rodney, huh? While I'm fucking you, you gonna do that for me? Are you?" Who knew that John Sheppard liked talking dirty?

"Yeah..." Rodney had to pause for breath. "Ooh... yeah, I think so."

And he did.

***

When Doctor Elizabeth Weir walked into the common area a few days later and saw the man in charge of the military mission sitting with his arms around the resident theoretical astrophysicist, it came as something of a surprise. But both men had decided to let people notice if they noticed... not to make a big deal out of something that they felt was really *not* a big deal.

"Something you want to tell me?" Weir asked.

"Like what?" asked Sheppard, nonchalantly.

"John!"

But instead of Sheppard answering, McKay looked up and said, "Oh, you mean this? Us? I'm Canadian," he smirked, "and people of the same sex can get married in some of the provinces now. So, Canada will be fine with this." 

"What about the U.S. military?"

"Yes, Elizabeth, remind us that the U.S. military is going to be more concerned that one of their officers is a *homo* than that we threw out the Geneva Convention and did experiments on a sentient being. Let's focus on what's really important, why don't we." It wasn't a question.

"Rodney..."

McKay sat up. "I know. Look, John is right - we're out here, and we're alone. We must decide for ourselves which parts of military protocol we're going to follow. I'm all for, you know, experimenting on Wraiths if it means we survive. Instead of *them*. Do we really want to keep a protocol that won't let us be happy?"

Weir sat down, looking both incredulous and happy. "John makes you happy?"

"Yeah. I love him," Rodney said. He looked around at the other people who were frankly staring. "Go ahead, laugh. I'm used to it. But you're not getting in bed with the hottest person on Atlantis."

Elizabeth actually blushed. John blushed. Hell, *Rodney* blushed.

"You think I'm hot?" John asked.

"Uh, YEAH."

John looked at the people around them and said, in a very self-satisfied way, "My lover thinks I'm hot."

Weir smiled at them. "You're right. I know you're right. Okay, listen. I don't think we need to know about every relationship that develops, but people in the hierarchy, especially those on SG teams, ones who report to me, should keep me - and Major Sheppard - informed if there is a change in their status." She looked at Sheppard. "Do you concur, Major?"

"I do, Doctor."

"That's settled, then. We'll discuss the details further during the next briefing." And she exited the room.

"So, we just got permission to fool around," said Sheppard.

"*Everyone* got permission to fool around," said Rodney. He turned and kissed John. "I had to go to another *galaxy* to find love. How screwed up is that?"

"Hmm." John looked at him with that lazy expression that meant he found something amusing.

"What?" asked Rodney.

"I'm just wondering what sci-fi show we're paralleling now."

"There *are* no sci-fi shows like this," Rodney said. "Queer as Folk doesn't count."

"It's too bad we can't ever tell the people back on Earth about what went on here," John mused. "Because this would make a kick-ass - not to mention forward-thinking - sci-fi program."

Rodney leaned back against John again. He could so do this for the rest of his life. "Gene Roddenberry, eat your heart out," he said.


End file.
